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Long-Distance Relationships Made Easy
by Yesenia Garibay
As if relationships weren't complicated enough, having them across a long
distance is extremely challenging. Long-distance relationships are not for
everyone. However, throughout time couples have had to be miles apart, yet
they have been able to maintain a solid, happy, successful relationship
until they could be together again. In order to prosper in a long-distance
relationship, some key elements are necessary: solid trust, demonstrated
commitment, and effective communication.
Solid trust is the basis of any relationship, but even more in long distance
relationships. Trust involves risk and also forms the foundation of any
great relationship. Trust not only means learning to trust others, but its
also learning how to trust oneself-especially if there have been difficult
relationships in the past. Trust is formed by telling the truth and by
being honest, no matter how painful it might be to tell the truth. Dwelling
on the past or fearing the future will not heal the pain of a long-distance
relationship.
My boyfriend and I have been together for thirteen months
now, three of which have been long-distance ones. Every couple must look at
where they are at the present time and learn to take advantage of the days
that they are together. Worrying about past relationships or questioning
where the current relationship is going in the future will cost the
opportunity to be in the moment with oneself and one's partner.
Demonstrated commitment is the basis of all relationships, but especially
long-distance ones. In any relationship, both need to make a commitment.
What kind of commitment, and how serious or frivolous it is, will be
different for different couples. However, both people should show that they
are committed to the relationship by discussing their future plans together.
Another way of showing commitment is by staying monogamous. To be
committed to the act of loving means that either one or the other could get
hurt by getting into a potentially risky situation. Then again, committing
to another person also brings another kind of risk: getting stuck in a
relationship that might be regretted later. For that reason, any
relationship also needs communication.
In order for a long-distance relationship to even exist, the couple should
be able to communicate. Effective communication involves not only seeing
each other, but also using the phone, e-mailing, chatting, or writing. Both
parties need to be able to feel that if they need to talk or write to the
other person, communication will be welcomed and met from the other.
Connecting through such communication is the "glue" to any relationship.
Without communication, any relationship will deteriorate. The relationship
with my boyfriend has lasted through these last thirteen months because of
our communication. I went to Atlanta for my summer vacation, yet I managed
to maintain my relationship with my boyfriend. We e-mailed and phoned each
other every day, even if it was just to say "hi." Little things like a
short e-mail or a voicemail make a big difference.
Established commitment, useful communication, and genuine trust are the key
elements to any successful long-distance relationship. Using these
different elements in a relationship should make dealing with a
long-distance relationship easier for both people. Without these key
elements, relationships might endure, but they may not be healthy or
fulfilling ones.
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