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- If anyone asks, you have had sex in all possible positions and locations.
- Much like an orgasm signifies the end of a sexual peak, sex often signifies the
end of a relationship.
- Feelings? What feelings?
- Life is one big competition. If someone is better than you at something, either
pretend it's not true or
kick their ass.
- Lie I tell you!!
- DO NOT make decisions about relationships. If you are backed into a corner
and must make a
decision, stall. If you still must come up with an answer, leave yourself a loophole
for escape. Example:
Question: "Honey, will you take me out for a romantic dinner?" Answer: "Yes, if
you can guess how
many sperm I produce each day."
- Every sentence that anyone says can be twisted to have sexual meaning.
Twist.
- At any given opportunity, point out how things look like various genitalia. (If,
by chance, you have
Play-Doh, make sure you make a replica of your penis. Exaggerate the dimensions
by 25%).
- Lie.
- "Love" is not in your vocabulary. don't even think about saying it.
- A general rule: If whatever you're doing does not satisfy you completely in 5
minutes, it's really not
worth it.
- Diss your girlfriend. Beg and plead until you get her back...Diss her again.
Repeat cycle.
- Lie.
- Apologize whenever it's expected. NEVER mean it.
- If you hurt someone, pretend you care. Don't.
- Try to have a good memory, but it's OK if you forget trivial things. You
know, like your girlfriend's
b-day and eye color.
- Ignorance solves problems. If you can't see them, they can't see you.
- It is never your duty to take responsibility for your actions.
- Create new words and phrases to describe genitalia, sex, semen, etc.
- Lie.
- Play with your food only if you are in a public place with people you don't
know.
- Play with your penis only if you are in a public place with people you don't
know.
- If people express extreme disgust at whatever you are doing, DON'T STOP!
This is the desired
reaction.
- You are NOT a virgin. Ever. Males are born without virginity.
- You are male, therefore you are superior.
For more rules on being a man...
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