| SIMPLE DUTIES |
| You make the bed | +1 |
| You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows | 0 |
| You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets | -1 |
| You leave the toilet seat up | -5 |
| You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty | 0 |
| When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex. | -1 |
| When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom. | -2 |
| You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings | +5 |
| in the snow | +8 |
| but return with beer. | -5 |
| and no liners. | -25 |
| You check out a suspicious noise at night | 0 |
| You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing | 0 |
| You check out a suspicious noise and it is something | +5 |
| You pummel it with a six iron. | +10 |
| It's her cat | -40 |
| AT THE PARTY |
| You stay by her side the entire party. | 0 |
| You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a work colleague | -2 |
| Named Tiffany. | -4 |
| Tiffany is a dancer | -10 |
| With breast implants | -18 |
| HER BIRTHDAY |
| You remember her birthday | 0 |
| You buy a card and flowers | 0 |
| You take her out to dinner | 0 |
| You take her out to dinner and it's not a strip club | +1 |
| Okay, it is a strip club | -2 |
| It's all-you-can-eat night | -3 |
| It's a strip club, and it's all-you-can-eat night. | -10 |
| A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS |
| Go with a mate | 0 |
| The mate is happily married | +1 |
| The mate is single | -7 |
| Not for long - it's his bachelor party | -10 |
| He has a liking for Red Light establishments | -50 |
| A NIGHT OUT WITH HER |
| You take her to a movie | +2 |
| You take her to a movie she likes | +4 |
| You take her to a movie you hate. | +6 |
| You take her to a movie you like. | -2 |
| It's called Death Cop III | -3 |
| Which features Cyborgs that eat humans | -9 |
| You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans | -15 |
| YOUR PHYSIQUE |
| You develop a noticeable beer gut. | -15 |
| You develop a noticeable beer gut and exercise to get rid of it | +10 |
| You develop a noticeable beer gut and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts . | -30 |
| You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." | -800 |
| THE BIG QUESTION |
| She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?" |
| You hesitate in responding. | -10 |
| You reply, "Where?". | -35 |
| You reply, "No, I think it's your bum." | -100 |
| Any other response | -20 |
| COMMUNICATION |
| When she wants to talk about a problem: |
| You listen, displaying a concerned expression | 0 |
| You listen, for over 30 minutes | +5 |
| You relate to her problem and share a similar experience | +50 |
| You're mind wanders and you suddenly hear her saying "well what do you think I should do?" | -100 |
| You have fallen asleep | -200 |
| ITS THAT TIME OF THE MONTH... |
| You talk | -100 |
| You don't talk. | -150 |
| You spend time with her. | -200 |
| You don't spend time with her | -500 |
| You are seen to be enjoying yourself. | GAME OVER |
