SIMPLE DUTIES |
You make the bed | +1 |
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows | 0 |
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets | -1 |
You leave the toilet seat up | -5 |
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty | 0 |
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex. | -1 |
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom. | -2 |
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings | +5 |
in the snow | +8 |
but return with beer. | -5 |
and no liners. | -25 |
You check out a suspicious noise at night | 0 |
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing | 0 |
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something | +5 |
You pummel it with a six iron. | +10 |
It's her cat | -40 |
AT THE PARTY |
You stay by her side the entire party. | 0 |
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a work colleague | -2 |
Named Tiffany. | -4 |
Tiffany is a dancer | -10 |
With breast implants | -18 |
HER BIRTHDAY |
You remember her birthday | 0 |
You buy a card and flowers | 0 |
You take her out to dinner | 0 |
You take her out to dinner and it's not a strip club | +1 |
Okay, it is a strip club | -2 |
It's all-you-can-eat night | -3 |
It's a strip club, and it's all-you-can-eat night. | -10 |
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS |
Go with a mate | 0 |
The mate is happily married | +1 |
The mate is single | -7 |
Not for long - it's his bachelor party | -10 |
He has a liking for Red Light establishments | -50 |
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER |
You take her to a movie | +2 |
You take her to a movie she likes | +4 |
You take her to a movie you hate. | +6 |
You take her to a movie you like. | -2 |
It's called Death Cop III | -3 |
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans | -9 |
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans | -15 |
YOUR PHYSIQUE |
You develop a noticeable beer gut. | -15 |
You develop a noticeable beer gut and exercise to get rid of it | +10 |
You develop a noticeable beer gut and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts . | -30 |
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." | -800 |
THE BIG QUESTION |
She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?" |
You hesitate in responding. | -10 |
You reply, "Where?". | -35 |
You reply, "No, I think it's your bum." | -100 |
Any other response | -20 |
COMMUNICATION |
When she wants to talk about a problem: |
You listen, displaying a concerned expression | 0 |
You listen, for over 30 minutes | +5 |
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience | +50 |
You're mind wanders and you suddenly hear her saying "well what do you think I should do?" | -100 |
You have fallen asleep | -200 |
ITS THAT TIME OF THE MONTH... |
You talk | -100 |
You don't talk. | -150 |
You spend time with her. | -200 |
You don't spend time with her | -500 |
You are seen to be enjoying yourself. | GAME OVER |