Phase 6A: The Break-Up|
Can you believe what he said last night? That was
the last straw and it is time for the scrub to get moving. You've tried your hardest and he just
can't be the man that you need him to be so send him packing. You are a cute girl and there are
plenty of men at your feet waiting to take you out. Follow our nasty tips and you won't ever have to
speak to him again.
Not planning the nasty breakup? Plan B is much more pleasant...
- Why should you bother moving out when it's all his fault? Call the movers and schedule
an appointment for them to take his stuff away. Don't tell him until they show up. If he's at
work have everything moved out to the parking lot. Make sure you change your locks.
- Catch him cheating on you? Sleep with his brother. There's nothing like good, old
fashioned sibling rivalry... We promise he'll get your point.
- If you're sure he doesn't have any gossip on you, then rent a Billboard-By-the-Day on
his route to work. Tell him it's over and that he is bad in bed- The worst you've ever had,
actually. Or give out his phone number for every one to harass. He won't ever bother you again.
However, be prepared for your dirty laundry to be aired over the freeway.
- Want to ruin his family life as well as his personal life? Call his mother and
tell her that you are leaving her son because he is gay and you just can't live the lie anymore.
- If you want to remain friends, be careful. Guys see this as an open invitation back into
your life and pants. Tell him that you are not ready for a committed relationship and that you
need to live life a little more.
Stage 6B: "Dum, Dum, Da Dum"
You've been dreaming about this boy since you
were a little girl. This is the man you are going to spend the rest of your life with. You may
not have the ring yet, but with the way your relationship is going it won't be long now.
It's time to close the deal.
- DO keep him happy in the bedroom. Without sex, he won't respond to anything.
- DON'T tell him about going to lunch with your ex. Would you want to know about his ex?
(Unless he would be suspicious if you didn't mention it...)
- DO maintain your friendships outside of your relationship. There will be a need for
- DON'T let him think you are needy. You are just high-maintenance...
- DO tell him that you love him and appreciate him. Guys need reassurance too!