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Lust or Bust
Week of September 17, 2001
  lust or bust · all of 'em · september

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I have known this guy, Jason for a couple years, he lived downthe street from me, I fell head over heels for him the second I saw hisgorgeous face. I was at the pool one day and saw him for the first time, Inoticed him looking over at me a few times and I knew he saw me checkinghim out. He came over to talk to me. We didn't talk that much the firstyear I met him except for the normal hellos and goodbye's because he wentoff to a baseball camp for most of the summer. When I found out about thehorrible news I was devastated, I cried for weeks and would write himemails about everything that was happening at home but he never responded.Soon summer had ended and since he was 2 years older than me he went to adifferent school. I missed him so much but I got over it as the yeardragged on and soon summer was here again. This year I promised myself Iwould become friends with this guy if he liked it or not. My friendscalled me obsessed, but I just had a little crush. Soon that "little"crush became a summer love. Jason was so nice to me and we would hang outall the time, he didn't care about our ages, he used to say that age wasjust a number. We would spend every second we had together. Soon all hisfriends were asking him why he wasn't around anymore and he wouldn't givea complete answer "just hangin' out" he would say. When school startedagain we grew apart, although we were going to the same school we barleysaw each other. I cried I few times because I missed him so much. The lastyear was different, I missed seeing him, now I see him but I miss talkingto him and I miss him actually saying hi to me every day. Jason graduatedthat year and went off to college. I didn't talk to him much and never sawhim. Until one day, when I was a Junior in High school I ran into him atthe mall. I saw him from across the food court but I didn't think herecognized me so I just stayed in my circle of friends that had came withme that day. Then I turned around to look at him once more before we leftand he wasn't there, I thought maybe he had already left and was a bitupset. Then suddenly someone picks me up from behind and swings me around,I turned around (after he put me down on the ground) to find out it wasJason. He had his best smile on and gave me an amazing hug, you know, oneof those hugs that you wish would last forever. Later that day I went overto his house and we talked for hours about everything, school, friends,parents, the old summer days, and since that day we have been inseparable.I never believed him when he said that age didn't matter I thought hewould never respect me like the rest of his friends, but now I knew that herespected me more than a friend, the thought of me as a girlfriend and forthe first time in years I was truly happy.
    --Jen, Apex, NC
When I met her on the first day of school, I knew that me andLizzy would get together sometime that year. But I am the shy type, so itwasn't until half way through the second semester, 27 weeks later, that Iactually attempted conversation with her. So when I finally did, I askedher if she wanted to see a movie sometime. We went out that night, and itwent great. We started talking on the phone a lot, and it just keptgetting better. Our conversations were great and it seemed like we werehitting it off really well. But there was one small problem. There wasthis guy, who at the time, she referred to as her "best friend." But itturns out, that she was romantically involved with him, and the only reasonthey were not "going out" was because they had a mutual friend who'sfeelings would have been hurt if they were going out. I figured that thisother guy wouldn't really be a problem, and she would just break up withhim eventually. So I kept talking to her on the phone, and we would writeletters back and forth, and she started to like me as more than a friend.And at this point I had realized, that she was nothing like anyone I hadever met before, she was so extraordinary that I found myself moreattracted to her than I have ever been attracted to any other girl before.I had never been in love before, but after a few months, I was sure thiswas what it was. And she felt the same way, but by that time, Lizzy hadgrown very close to the other guys family, and she considered them like asecond family to her. We discussed her telling her, now serious,boyfriend that she had been cheating on him, and she agreed it would be agood idea. So she told him, and he broke down crying and they talked fora little while, and what he came up with was... "Whatever makes youhappy." So we were back to square one. She didn't break up with him, andwe had another discussion. I was trying to understand why she couldn'tjust dump him. But she said that there were more people involved, and shedid not want to lose touch with his family who she had grown so close to.I didn't know what to do, because I loved her so much, and she didn't knowwhat to do either. So finally I worked up the strength to tell her thatwe needed to end it, and if she couldn't make a decision between us, thenwe would just stop seeing each other. She decided that she had aresponsibility to her boyfriend to be honest and faithful, so we bothdecided it would be best if she stayed with him. So, now, we are stillvery good friends, we talk almost every other night, I still love her morethan anything, and she still loves me, but we have no romanticinvolvement, and she is still with the other guy. I don't know what to do,other than wait until they break up, and I don't want to cause her anymore stress than I have, so I am not going to pursue a relationship whileshe is still with him. I'm trying to move on, but it is very hard.
    --Elijah, Tampa, FL

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