 | He: Would you like to dance?
She: Not with you.
He: Oh, come on. Lower your standards a little, I just did. |
| Q: "May I have the directions to your heart?"
A: "Yes,you make a left at 'Hell No' Ave. and leep going straight 'til you get to 'F.U.' Blvd. |
| He: Your body is like a temple...
She: Sorry, there are no services today. |
| He: Can I put my beef in your taco?
She: No sorry...I'm a vegitarian. |
| He: Do you wanna dance?
She: Yeah but not with you!
He: You must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants! |
| He: I'd die happy if I saw you naked.
She: I'd die laughing if I saw you naked! |
| He: Hey baby, do you wanna go to my place and hang out (wink wink)
She: No, I'm going to my boyfriend's to hang out! (wink wink) |
| He: The name's Bond, James Bond.
She: The idea's lost, get lost! |
| Q: Does beauty run in your family?
A: It obviously doesn't in yours! |
| Q: What's your name sexy?
A: Taken! |
| Q: Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?
A: Yeah, but this time don't stop! |
| He: Haven't we met before?
She: Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic. |
| He: So wanna go back to my place?
She: Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? |
| He: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
She: It's in the phone book.
He: But I don't know your name.
She: It's in the phone book too! |
|
He: So what do you do for a living?
She: Female impersonator. |
| Q: What sign were you born under?
A: No Parking. |
| He: So how do you like your eggs in the morning?
She: Unfertilized! |
| Q: What are you looking at?
A: Oh. I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken. |
| In reply to No, thank you: Don't thank me, thank God somebody asked you! |
| He: I'd really like to get into your pants.
She: No thanks. There's already one a-hole in there! |
| Q: I think you're the best looking girl in here.
A: Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I! |
| He: So, baby, your place or mine?
She: Both. You'll go to your place and I'll go to mine! |
| He:Your legs go clear up to your ass.
She: Most peoples do! |
| Q: Can I buy you a drink?
A: Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too! |
| He: I know how to please a woman.
She: Then please leave me alone. |
| He:I want to give myself to you.
She: Sorry, I don`t accept cheap gifts. |
| "Haven`t I seen you some place before?"
Response: "Yeah, that`s why I don`t go there anymore." |
| "You look like a dream."
Response: "Go back to sleep." |
| "I can tell that you want me."
Response: "Yes, I want you to leave." |
| "Hey, baby, what`s your sign?"
Response: "Do not enter...or stop." |
| He: What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?
She: What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world? |
| Q: Is this seat empty?
A: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down. |
| "I can see forever in your eyes."
Response: "But all I can see is never in yours." |
| "Is it hot in here, or is it just you?"
Response: "No I think your excess weight is taking all the air!" |
| "If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together."
Response: "That is if you could, but unfortunately you can't!" |
| "I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included."
Response: "Thanks! Hey I saw your name next to filthy." |
