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From the man that brought you corn flakes... John Harvey Kellogg was the superintendent of the Adventist's Health Reform Institute in Battle Creek, Michigan when he wrote his best-selling antimasturbation book Plain Facts for Old and Young, Embracing the Natural History of Hygiene of Organic
Life. He was in fact so committed to sexual abstinence that he apparently
never consummated his relationship with his wife.
In 1898, Kellogg created a process to produce grain flakes, and thus Kellogg's Corn Flakes were born. This simple cereal quickly became a central part of his diet plan for stopping sexual desire and masturbation... corn flakes, it seems, are just not sexy. At least, not anymore.. damn that John Kellogg!
Hollywood later immortalized (and fictionalized) his struggle for health and fitness in the movie The Road to Wellville, based on the comic novel of the same name by T. Coraghessan Boyle.
Kellogg's brother later went on and added sugar to the plain little flakes, negating their original purpose. Luckily, this made him millions. Masturbators are HUGE market, apparently. John, however, died poor in 1943. Here are some signs from his book that a young man might be masturbator:
Kellogg's Signs of Masturbation
| 1. | Rounded shoulders |
| 2. | Weak Back |
| 3. | Stiffness of the joints |
| 4. | Paleness |
| 5. | Acne |
| 6. | Heart palpitations |
| 7. | Fickleness |
| 8. | Bashfullness |
| 9. | Boldness |
| 10. | Confusion |
| 11. | Disgust at simple foods |
| 12. | Bed wetting |
| 13. | Nail Biting |
| 14. | Consumption-like symptoms |
| 15. | Untrustworthiness |
Information from Sex Lovers Book of Lists by Ron Louis and David Copeland.
Do YOU have any of these traits? If so, you may be a masturbator! Now go eat some corn flakes and take a cold shower.
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