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Want to talk about masturbating, but don't want to seem crass? No problem! Check out our lists of masturbation euphamisms... so you can sling slang slickly, while slapping your slug!
Know of one we don't have? Tell us your slang!
Slang for Boys | 
Slang for Girls |
· abusing yourself
· beating off
· feeding the ducks
· giving yourself a hand
· hanging out with Rosie Palmer and her 5 sisters
· jerking off
· making soup
· self-love
· slapping your meat
· spanking the monkey
· stroking it
· sturbing
· wanking
· wacking off
· answer the bone-a-phone
· batting practice
· beat off
· beating the bishop
· beating the dummy
· being your own best friend
· blow your load
· bludgeon the beefsteak
· butter your corn
· calling down for more mayo
· calling all cum
· changing your oil
· charm the cobra
· choaking charlie 'till he throws up
· choke your chicken
· clean the pipes
· couch hockey for one
· crank the shank
· cranking
· cuff the carrot
· cuffing the puppy
· custer's last stand
· devil's handshake
· diddle
· dishonorable discharge
· doodle your noodle
· do the dew
· drain the vein
· dropping stomach pancakes
· five against one
· five finger knuckle shuffle
· flute solo
· fondle the fig
· freeing willy
· getting to know yourself personally in the "biblical sense"
· ham shank
· hand job
· hands on training
· hand to gland combat
· hit the ham
· holding all the cards
· holding your sausage hostage
· jackin' the beanstalk
· jerk off
· jerkin' the gherkin
· launching the hand shuttle
· leakin' the main drain
· loping your mule
· making the bald guy puke
· manual override
· masonic secret self handshake
· massage your purple-headed warrior
· measuring for condoms
· meeting with Palmala Handerson
· oiling the pogo stick
· one handed clapping
· one man tug-o-war
· paddle the pickle
· playing with dick
· play the skin flute
· play the stand-up organ
· plunk your twanger
· polish the chrome dome
· popping the purple pimple
· pull the root
· pumping for pleasure
· punchin' the clown
· punch the porpoise
· ride the great white knuckler
· rolling the fleshy blunt
· seasonin' your meat
· slap boxing the one-eyed champ
· sloppy joe's last stand
· squeeze the cream from the flesh twinkie
· squeeze the weasle
· stroke your poker
· taking a shake break
· tenderize the meat
· tickle the elmo
· wank
· whip your dripper
· whipping the one-eyed wonder weasle
· whizzin' jizzim
· wiggling your worm
· winding the jack in the box
· wrestling the eel
· yank my doodle (it's a dandy)
· yank off
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· 3 point shot
· a night in with the girls
· auditioning the finger puppets
· beating around the bush
· brushing the beaver
· carpet bumping
· checking for squirrels
· clam bake for one
· creamin'
· coming into your own
· dialing the rotary phone
· dousing the digits
· drilling for oil
· engaging in safe sex
· fanning the fur
· feeding the bearded clam
· fingerpainting
· flickin' the bean
· flit your clit
· gagging the clam
· get a date with slick mittens
· get to know yourself
· going mining
· groping the grotto
· greasing your hips
· grissle rub
· gusset typing
· hitchhiking south
· let the fingers do the walkin'
· manual override
· muffin buffin'
· nulling the void
· paddling the pink canoe
· pampering the pussy
· parting the red sea
· pearl fishing
· pet the pussy cat
· polishing the pearl
· play poker
· playing with her pineapple
· pussy soccer
· riding the unicycle
· rolling the dough
· rubbin' the nubbin
· soaking the whisker biscuit
· spelunking
· spearing the bearded clam
· squeeze the peach
· strumming the banjo
· surfing the channel
· teasing the tuna taco
· the virgin's release
· tickling the taco
· tiptoe through the twolips
· toggling the bit
· tossing pink salad
· trolling the bermuda triangle
· two finger taco tango
· washing your fingers
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&bnsp; If you have a good masturbation euphamism, send it our way... we love this stuff!
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