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101 Things Not to Say During Sex      
« 1·2·3 »
  sexual healing · trivia ·101

  1. I think you have it on backwards.
  2. When is this supposed to feel good?
  3. Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs!
  4. You're good enough to do this for a living!
  5. Is that blood on the headboard?
  6. Did I remember to take my pill?
  7. Are you sure I don't know you from somewhere?
  8. I wish we got the Playboy channel…
  9. That leak better be from the waterbed!
  10. I told you it wouldn't work without batteries!
  11. But my cat always sleeps on that pillow…
  12. Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?
  13. If you quit smoking you might have more endurance…
  14. No, really... I do this part better myself!
  15. It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate!
  16. This would be more fun with a few more people…
  17. You're almost as good as my ex!
  18. Do you know the definition of statutory rape?
  19. Is that you I smell or is it your mattress stuffed with rotten potatoes?
  20. You look younger than you feel.
  21. Perhaps you're just out of practice.
  22. You sweat more than a galloping stallion!
  23. They're not cracker crumbs, it's just a rash.
  24. Now I know why he/she dumped you...
  25. Does your husband own a sawed-off shotgun?
  26. You give me reason to conclude that foreplay is overrated.
  27. What tampon?
  28. Have you ever considered liposuction?
  29. And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner!
  30. What are you planning to make for breakfast?
  31. I have a confession...
  32. I was so horny tonight I would have taken a duck home!
  33. Are those real or am I just behind the times?
  34. Were you by any chance repressed as a child?
  35. Is that a hanging sculpture?
More Reasons... : Everything Dating from Pick-up to Break-up

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