- I think you have it on backwards.
- When is this supposed to feel good?
- Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs!
- You're good enough to do this for a living!
- Is that blood on the headboard?
- Did I remember to take my pill?
- Are you sure I don't know you from somewhere?
- I wish we got the Playboy channel…
- That leak better be from the waterbed!
- I told you it wouldn't work without batteries!
- But my cat always sleeps on that pillow…
- Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?
- If you quit smoking you might have more endurance…
- No, really... I do this part better myself!
- It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate!
- This would be more fun with a few more people…
- You're almost as good as my ex!
- Do you know the definition of statutory rape?
- Is that you I smell or is it your mattress stuffed with rotten potatoes?
- You look younger than you feel.
- Perhaps you're just out of practice.
- You sweat more than a galloping stallion!
- They're not cracker crumbs, it's just a rash.
- Now I know why he/she dumped you...
- Does your husband own a sawed-off shotgun?
- You give me reason to conclude that foreplay is overrated.
- What tampon?
- Have you ever considered liposuction?
- And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner!
- What are you planning to make for breakfast?
- I have a confession...
- I was so horny tonight I would have taken a duck home!
- Are those real or am I just behind the times?
- Were you by any chance repressed as a child?
- Is that a hanging sculpture?
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